Halloween

okay so has Halloween (fall) always been this busy or am I just getting old? Seems like when I was little Halloween was just one night - now we have 10 different things to go to - I feel like the kids need more than one costume, gotta go to the pumpkin patch - can't miss the school party, the fall festival at church or the trunk or treat with the play group we have to go to the zoo boo, and then the gymnastics party and the family functions, all ending with the grand finale- Halloween night! oh and ya gotta go to the fair (which isn't near as fun as an adult). Maybe I am getting old or having 2 little bears instead of one this year could be it- but then again- I really do not remember it being so busy- gosh it makes me want to eat a lot of candy and take a nap!

October Ramblings

I can not believe it is the end of October! Brother Bear is 5 months old today! Not sure how that happened so fast! Baby Bear is just as amazing as ever - she is soooo smart I think she will academically pass me and papa bear very soon - if not already! Halloween is just around the corner and we have lots planned, I can not wait to post pics - Kassidy is going to be a cat and a princess and brother bear, not sure I really wanted him to be a baby sumo wrestler because he sure has the body for it but having trouble finding a baby black wig - maybe we could just do some dark makeup on his head- hmmm? well just wanted to post seems like it has been forever! Happy Fall to everyone!!!!

Sisters?

This is a picture of me and goldilocks (baby bears birthmommy). I think we look a like, everytime we go places together people ask if we are sisters and I say - yes. It is just easier--- ofcourse I guess when baby bear gets older I may have to rethink my sarcasm when she is around--- ? anyway just wanted to see what everyone thought and share a picture of us!

Brother Bear is 4 months old today!

The time is flying! Seems like yesterday when we brought him home! He is a precious boy - so serious and so opposite from baby bear! The only time he really fusses is when he is hungry which is becoming more often lately.

Adoptive Breastfeeding

So in my previous post I talked about always feeling the need to share my children's adoption story. So today is really one of the first times I really really wished I could breast feed! Me and brother bear are taking a mommy and me class (of which no one knows he is adopted). So I tell myself before class - alright - no adoption stories lets just go in and be mother and child. Well ofcourse during the class several of the moms stop to breastfeed and I have to feed brother bear also, which is a bottle and I felt like I was being judged. I almost broke and stood up and said- "okay okay - he is adopted and I only had a 2 day notice that I had a son- I can't breastfeed - so stop looking at my platex drop-in bottle with disgust!!!!!!!!!"

But I figured this might in some little way not be the best thing to do.But I
did not give in and tell our story and I am proud of myself for that-- as a sidenote I have been trying hard to let my kids stories be theirs to tell and not blurt them out all the time and baby bear is getting to the age that she understands so much more and people say the most off the wall things----
But really for the first time today I wish I had looked in to adoptive breastfeeding more - it is something I just had no interest in doing - untill today- Hey just had an idea - I could get up during class and go to the special breastfeeding chairs and pretend to breastfeed - they would never know- and then it would put more pressure on me to not tell our story - ofcourse brother bear would wonder what the heck was going on--- so nah better not do that- I will just proudly keep using my bottles!

Why do I feel the need to share?

I wonder why I feel the need to share with others my children are adopted? Seriously, it seems I will make it come up in conversation. I always say, unless it needs to be told I will keep their stories to myself, but I swear I think it is a mental thing with me - almost as if I have to or something. Like maybe I feel guilty for taking credit for my children and I have to acknowlede there were others involved. Like for example baby bear just started preschool, well I felt the need to put under the part "any addition info about your child.." that she and her brother were adopted---- for real did I really do that--- It is Sunday and I am just reflecting the week and thinking about this-- I did it yesterday too, at family dayat my husbands work-- you know the conversation is always like this - Oh how far apart are they? was it planned that way? and I do good and about 5 minutes in to it- I break and start in to the story-- I really want to stop this for their sake------ I really do think it has something to do with my insecurites---- what do you think?

Brother Bear