You know what's gonna happen now.....

Well if I've heard it once I have heard it a thousand times!!!! Now that you have adopted you will get pregnant. Well I usually shrug it off and say something like "Oh I hope so, I love being a mom". But today I guess it just slipped my mind --- I was visiting a preschool for baby bear for next year and was going to leave and surrounded by the director and teachers---- some how it came about that baby bear was adopted and someone said -- "oh my sister adopted" and I responded with oh that's great , etc. and then she said "well you know what happened a year later?" and just as serious as I could be and not giving it one thought I said --"wow she got to adopt again, that's great"! Ofcourse the million dollar answer was she got pregnant, I felt like such a dork! So is this a sign that I have maybe come to terms that I may never get pregnant, or that I am really comfortable with adoption, or that I was functioning on very little sleep and in a hurry to get to walmart and was just not thinking? Well there was really no point to this, just in retrospect I kinda found my response a little oh.. unique maybe, and just thought I would share.

The simple things

Being a mommy I have come to really relish the simply things in day to day life. Today at Olive Garden Baby Bear hit a milestone. No not one that is on the checklist or in a baby book, just one that was important to us. Ready? Drum roll please........ She Drank From A Straw!!!!!! We have been working on this a week or so, because she will not drink from a sippy cup -- not sure why, but she will push out the sippy with her tongue while making a gag noise! I think she sees us drinking from a straw and wants to be a big girl. So today I offered her the straw out of her kiddie cup and I feel the cold coming up the straw with my finger and my heart skips a beat and I look at her and those blue eyes light up and she swallows and dribbles a bit of water--- I exclaim -- yeah! yeah! and she smiles in delight from the praise-- and we have this wonderful moment! I am sure others thought we were crazy or maybe they looked at us and knew exactly why we were both grinning from ear to ear!

My Story....

It occured to me that in starting a blog I need to tell my story. I wanted to be creative and come up with neat little "blog names" for my family. We have always called my daughter her name and added bear to the end, so my wonderful friend and also baby bears bio mom, thought of the 3 bears for us and Goldilocks for herself, so in the future I will be mama bear, the husband will be papa bear, the baby girl will be baby bear, and baby bears bio mom will be Goldilocks--- so that's whose who!!!
I am a mommy, by now I know you get that much of my story, but how I became a mommy is different than most people- or at least most people I know in my day to day life. Anyway papa bear and I could not conceive, not that we did not try everthing from fertility monitors to IUI's to IVF, it still did not happen and then began our journey in to adoption. After a few ups and downs, we were chosen by Goldilocks and meet her and had an immediate connection. This followed by phone calls and e-mails and then baby bears birth. We took baby bear home from the hospital and maintain a very close retaltionship with Goldilocks. I know I just made a comlicated story sound simple, and believe me simple it is not, but it is wonderful! I know , I know there is saddness and loss with adoption and it is very bittersweet, I do struggle with issues and guilt from having my baby girl - gosh ya'll she is just perfect--- but I try to focus on the positive and what I can do to make her life wonderful and healthy in everyway! So I try to stay connected and read blogs and research on adoptees. I stay connected to Goldilocks and she is a big part of our family and for now I think we are all good. I can say my views on adoption have changed and I see so many things that need to be changed, and at the same time as I sit here and watch baby bear on the monitor and she is sleeping so peaceful , like an angel -- I just can't see how I would change a thing in our situation. well today was long - so i better sleep while baby bear sleeps! Good night!

Blue eyes and big smiles!!!!

This is our little girl!!! She has the most amazing blue eyes and a smile that will make you feel good, even on your worst days!!!!

untangling my mind

Well, I have been reading blogs awhile now!!!! sometimes I think my life would seem in someway better -- or have more clarity if i did not have so much on my mind -- so this is my attempt to get things off my mind-- kinda - untangling my mind. It gets twisted with all sorts of thoughts and decisions so I figured this was a great way to get things out of there, like worries and concerns. I will probably write about things like adoption concerns, infertility, marriage, open adoption and life in gerneral!!!!!!