kinda proud

sometimes i feel like I am hard on myself when it comes to the subject of adoption. I wonder if I handled things the right way, did I in anyway manipulate the situation, and etc.... well tonight I read through all the emils that goldielocks and I exchanged before baby bear arrived and I feel really pround of myself. It was very interesting to read and think back to almost four years ago and really we are mostly the same as then, alot of things I read in those emails really makes me feel good, and from time to time I really need that.

seven years

Today is my seven year wedding anniversary! We have had a few ups and downs over the years, ofcourse most good marriages do I would say, but we are focused and agree on whats important and love each other very much! Even though you dont read my blog Papa Bear, I love you and love the way you love me and the kids, heres to many many more!

...and their adopted son.

ok so mostly I vent, discuss, share on here but I truely am looking for feed back on this please. My sister in law posted a picture on line (without my permission - which I didnt like to begin with, but it gets worse) of me, my husband and our son. Well on the caption she put, my brother , his wife and their adopted son. I was and am furious. But am calming down, I dont want to say much on how I feel, I truely want some honest feedback and some advice on what to do and how to handle this. real quick background, info, her and I are not very close, do not communicate often, kinda just tolerate each other but I am pretty pretty sure she would know this would bother me! ughhhh

take a look---

this is a post from a blog that I read often, it is the blog of an adoptee, and although I'm sure some may not appreciate, she is very real, raw and honest and I just love reading her blog. She wrote a post that as an adoptive mom I thought it was important for other amoms to see, thanks izzy for always saying what you feel!
Adopt This! Confessions of an Ambivalent Adoptee

Open Adoption Roundtable #14 success in open adoption

It's time again for the Open Adoption Round Table, hosted by Heather of Production Not Reproduction!
This time, Lori of Weebles Wobblog asks the question:


If there's one thing we all might agree on, it's that we'd like our open adoptions to be successful. But what does "success" mean to you, when speaking about open adoption? Do you think it may mean something else to the others in your triad?


For me success is about support, respect, and communcication. Ofcourse, the child is the top priority, however all sides need to feel heard, supported and acknowedged in order for it to be successful. communication has been a key in our success, when we have an issue arise, I always discuss it with baby bears birthmom, we discuss what she should be called or wants to be called, what type of involvemnt the extended birth family will have, length of visits... and on and on. I truely beleive we have done and excellent job so far and am very proud of our relationship that we have established. There has been very little information, and for sure no hand book on how to do this, weve just woked through it with lots of love. I am very sure that many things will come up in the future and we will hit many bumps, but that is not what matters it is that we maintain communication and respect what is best for all sides involved.

adoption loss part two

hello, i just wanted to clarify from my adoption loss post- a few things.

My secret wish is that my children have no issues with their adoption and never feel a loss from it, I am a very optimistic and naive person and on a daily basis I have so much joy with my children, but, after doing lots of reading I realize some adoptive children have issues with loss, so really i have had to jump off my cloud a little and just acknowledge it, and its hard. the book Primal Wound was hard hard for me to read, just imagining that baby I had brought home was hurt and confused, as a mom I never want to see my kids hurting and after a few years I am finally o.k. with the notion. But just wanted to say that's only a small part of my life now and in years to come we will see how it goes, this is the only place I feel secure enough to really talk about all sides of adoption so i hope i don't come off as too dark or gloomy, cause really my life is sometimes too sweet for even me to believe. thanks for all the comments I LOVE the feedback!

IComLeavWe: February 2010

just wanted to welcome anyone over from IComLeavWe! Hello hope you stick around and read a bit, dont want to scare you away, I am an adoptive mom and sometimes I write about loss and hurt and adoption not being all rainbows and cotton candy- but I am real and honest and very much in to acknowledging the truth about each persons situation! Have a great day!!!