Baby Bear -before and after!!!

Well we finally decided to get the hair out of the eyes!!!!! I really like it -- but I really wish it did not make her look older!!!! but she could not stand anything in her hair -- like cute bows--- so goodbye piggytails -- hello bangs and big beautiful blue eyes!!!







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Wordless Wednesday

it is Wednesday --Right?

Ins, outs and upside downs of the matter!

Wow! You know lately my mind has been spinning with questions and confusion about adoption. How can something that brought so much joy into my life be the cause of so much pain for others? On a normal day I am just a mom to a beautiful little girl, everywhere I go that is who I am --at walmart, at the playgroup, at church, at chucky cheese , at the zoo -- o.k. everywhere. But then when I visit the blog and forum world -- I am an adoptive mom - and that puts a whole new spin on my role and life. Ideas start to fill up my brain, like am I a good enough mom, do I need to be a better mom than most, who should know my story, when will baby bear become aware that here story is different, will I have the right words to answer her questions, will she hate me for adopting her, will she see it as I took her away, and on and on.... O.K. and then... there is this person that I love dearly, I consider a great friend and sister. She is someone I feel very comfortable with and could share many of my deep thoughts with, a friend I could call and unload my problems on and recieve compassion from! This wonderful person also happens to be the same person that carried and gave birth to my daughter -- yeah that would be dear Goldilocks.
It scares me that one day she will regret her choice and hate me - in my rational mind I don;t think so but in adoptive mom world my brain sometimes gets cloudy. Then I think sometimes oh my situation is different - I am in this wonderful open adoption, where goldilocks is at peace with everything and baby bear is going to be so secure about herself because of that connection and all the love in her life! Am I being simple minded? I don't know -- maybe I read too much, maybe I think about it too much - maybe I will just go to bed and wake up in the morning and just be baby bears mom - maybe that is just all I can do about it right now - maybe just be the best mom I can be and keep on loving Goldilocks and baby bear like the wonderful people they are!
Yeah I think that is what I will do!

Baby Bear is climbing!!!

yep--- another milestone was reached yesterday!!! Baby bear climbed out of her crib!!!
scared me half to death!!! She is fine but in a new set up!!! We got one of those crib tents -- vs. a toddler bed that I know she would not sleep in yet -- because she would figure out real quick that all she has to do is get out and she can play anytime of the day or night!! umm no thanks---- she is way to active and curious for that now -- so the tent will have to do for awhile!!! she is not to sure of it yet and does not understand why in the world she can't toss her binky out ---- anyway my 14 month old is growing up way too fast!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Smiles

So it is funny to me to see my husband smiling in pictures!!! He has never smiled in pictures and this includes our wedding!!! When anyone tells him to smile he usually says in his military voice -"I am smiling" --- well I think the anti-smile problem has been solved and the solution was a daughter --yeap little baby bear! It is just odd to me still to look at pictures and see him smile -- and I do not even really have to ask -- I just say smile and there it is the silly grin appears like magic!

Wordless Wednesday

BabyBear this morning headed to her first morning of Nursery School!