tomorrow....

Well Baby bears, birthmom Goldilocks will be here tomorrow. I am so excited to see her, I always am. Just incase you are new here and dont know, we are very close, not only because of the adoption we are just connected, in so many ways, we say we are each others soul mates - soul sisters! At first I thought it was because we share the same daughter and well yeah Im sure that is a big part of it, but it is more. We are a lot alike and just well are very close in many ways, even with out baby bear in the picture if I would have met her we would have been very close. I think this is why I see so much of myself in baby bear, truely I see me so much in her it scares me sometimes- its almost like she has my genetic makeup, she has characteristics from me that I have had all my life! like for example I cant stand to have an unopened present around me, it does something to me, I do not know if it is a curiousity thing or a mental disorder, but I have been known to unwrap a present and then re-wrap and put back under the tree! so now everyone just keeps them away from me, well baby bear is the same way, and I know most kids are but for her it goes beyond normal, just like me, it is a compulsion! and last night we had company over and someone said, man she litereally can not stand an unopen present around her! and I thought yep thats my girl and then I thought about Goldilocks and how much we are all alike. Anyway I am so lucky to have her in my life and to have answers to questions about baby bear so I can only imagine how imortant and crucial it is and will be for baby bear! then the coin flips and I have my baby boy, that we have pretty much no info or contact and not sure if we ever will. But we will deal and do our best, for now, for today, I am excited we get to spend the week with someone thats important to us, to me, to my daughter, someone we call family someone we love very much, my daughters other mom!

Things they say...

To me it is so amazing how our kids can say a simple statement and make you think for hours. We are going to look at Christmas lights tonight, and my mom was with us, and she was going to get to stay the night with her. We had to ride by my husbands mom's house for a minute, anyway, baby bear was just rambling about mamow ruby and her other mamow and papow and then she says I got this many mammows and papows, but I only have one mommie and one daddy though and grinned really big. So why did that break my heart? The innocence on her little face had no idea of the loss she has had of her first mom. Will she feel it as hard because she knows her and will get to see her? does it matter? will our efforts in open adoption help her? so so so many guestions and for now, I can just enjoy the innocence and simplicity that she feels , she doesnt need to know any of that now, and I know I worry too much and I think too much and oh yeah I worry too much! When it comes to my kids I just cant help it.....

good lord at the goodie bags!!! :)

So not adoption related, but man oh man, I think I have done 200 goodie bags in the last week! Between my two kids and their own preschool and the preschool I operate, because ofcourse my two have to give everyone something (this is in my head) - wow! but after tomorrow morning it will be over. So does the holiday thing get easier or harder as they get older? oh well either way, I honestly could not be happier to do it, I wouldnt have it any other way :) but I am glad that I probably wont do goodie bags again till at least ummmm Valentines Day! so I get a little break!

Santa Visti 2009

So we went to see Santa today and broter bear was not having any part of it!!!!

baby bear got style!

this was baby bear playing outside today! I am loving her new sense of style!!

Baby Bear! - aug. 2006

I just had the chance to scan this! it has been framed an on the wall for over three years, but brother bear was throwing a temper fit and hit his head on the wall and knocked it down, good times! :-) anyway just wanted to post this precious picture of baby bear when she was one month old!!!! Just precious!!! if I do say so myself!