so .... when your child starts kinder, do you tell them if your child was adopted, or do you wait and let it be up to your child to share their story? just curious what others do and think about this....
also welcome to all ICLW readers, the quick scoop on me, ttc for over 8 years, have to awesome kids through domestic infant adoption, one adoption is very open, one is very closed, and May of this year found out I was pregnant, with NO fertility treatmeants!!! I am 39 and pregnant which is still blowing my mind! we are having a baby boy and little man is due Feb 16th 2010!
Thanks for stoping by!!
7 comments:
Returning your ICLW visit and following! Congrats back to you on your pregnancy! Isn't it so amazing?
I don't think we would. Our daughter was conceived via donor sperm and I don't think that needs to be broadcasted....when the time comes that we adopt we'd probably handle it the same way. It's not our story, it's their's...and honestly it's a part of them, but it doesn't define who they are.
Congrats on your pregnancy!
ICLW
Here from ICLW :) Amazing! Congratulation on all your children. I'm adopted, and my parents told me when I was 4/5 y.o. I think that was a really smart idea. The more its a secret, the more shame a person feels about it. I never thought it was strange or anything being adopted because my parents made it such normal experience.. they talked about it fairly openly and I was told that they loved me so much they picked me... I probably told everyone I knew - because that's what kids too, but then it became normal to them also. As I got older sometimes people said ignorant things, but it didn't really bother me because to me adoption is a totally normal thing. That's my suggestion. I have a post on my blog about my thoughts on adoption if you're interested. Best of luck!
Awwwwww what a wonderful story to your family. Personally, I would let them decide if they wanted to share. A HUGE congrats on your pregnancy!! That is amazing!!
That's a tough question. E looks nothing like us, so for us it will be a yes we will tell the teacher. It actually might be helpful for the teacher to know. That way if something comes up, she/he will know how to respond. For example: making family trees. That's one that comes up in kindergarden. Or if they are talking about what different families look like, adoption can be added in. Also, sometimes kids tease each other about being adopted - this way the teacher will know how to respond and what to say.
Well since my kids are black and I am white ... LOL ...there's no hiding it, really. But no, I would not just volunteer the information. I don't think anyone needs to know their story until they are ready to tell it!
Due to the openness of our adoption, my daughter speaks about regularly about her birth sister and father. I needed to tell the teacher so she had a better understanding of the family members she referred to. I also agree with Randi and the need to make it normal and not so secretive. This however, doesn't mean everyone needs to know your child's birth story or reasons for adoption. I believe that should be the child's decision on who to share this with. Being open in Kindergarten allowed me to read to the 2nd grade class a book on types of families including adoption. This gave my daughter the opportunity to stand up proudly and answer questions about adoption. Previously she was made fun of by her peers when she mentioned a birth family. She was even able to dismiss the myth one child had regarding all adopted kids are left on doorsteps in a basket. Now all 26 of her peers understand how loved she is by all her family and see it as normal just like we do! I understand I'm posting this months after your original post. Congrats on your newest addition to your family!!
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