Monday, February 23, 2009
A loss for words
So it happened and I knew it would , just not this soon. I was bathing Baby Bear the other night in the sink ( yeah she is still small enough to do that when we do not have 30 minutes for all her bath toy play in the big tub) and there was a picture of her cousin on the fridge and he is crying, it was his newborn picture. She asked why the baby was crying and I told her that he was not happy to be taken out of his mommy's tummy. So she smiles and points to my tummy and says - "momma's tummy - I in your tummy momma". Well I did not know what to say - I really think she can not understand things yet and I think it is not really age appropriate but I do not want to lie and agree either- so I just say yes that is mommas tummy and she laughed and moved on to something else - so no biggie. But I have thought about it and wondered and consulted others and just worried about it - I sooooo want her to be alright with everything and know the truth but I want it to be presented to her when the time is right- well a few days later she is in the tub and we are talking and I bring it up that some babies come out of mommas tummies and sometimes it is not our mommas tummy but another tummy and she just looked at me like "why are you telling me this stuff?" I even went on to tell her that she came out of Goldilocks tummy and she still looked at me that way so I dropped it and it has not come up since ----- so anyway just wanted to vent I guess - it just took me by surprise - oh and any advise or anyone want to share their experience PLEASE do!!!!
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19 comments:
Good job! Well done. You did the right thing. She just doesn't understand right now. Don't sweat it. You and possibly I will have lots of times to try to explain when the timing is right. Pray and it will be okay.
I think you handled it very well. I can't share any advice or experience, but it sounds like you did a great job. I agree that we have to be careful to give too much info too soon. I remember someone saying their child asked about sex and after the parent went through the birds/bees talk discovered the child was REALLY just asking what to put down on a paper (which was really asking for gender) - Male or Female. OOPS! You were honest with her which is important.
Well I haven't had any experience with this, but I think the best thing you can do is talk about adoption early and often, answer any questions, and tell the truth as long as that truth is age-appropriate. I think it's good to say the things you said to her, and answer the questions as they arise. Follow your gut on what she can/can't grasp right now. I think as long as she knows she can always talk to you about the questions she has, and that adoption is a blessing that helped you form your family, it's all good. NOT an easy aspect of parenting to be sure...I'm glad you are sharing your experiences so that when my time does come, I'll have this to think about. :)
Melba
Oh, goodness! It's amazing what they understand and pick up on!
{{{Hugs}}}...I think you handles it well. Its always hard when our kids surprise us with statements or questions we aren't quite prepared for.
~ICLW
You did a GREAT job! You'll kn ow when the time is right to have that talk with her. Just like all the other talks we have to have with our daughters as they grow up...*groan*
*ICLW*
Honesty is the best policy yes? I can't imagine how it would be to have the adoption conversation, but it sounds like you will do it the right way for your family when the time comes.
Thanks for the lovely comments!
I think you handled it just right.
There *must* be a children's book about how special she is to be adopted... and if there isn't, you should write one. :)
I think honesty has to be the best policy - and you have to response as seems best at the time. I haven't got any great words of advice - sorry!
ICLW
Your kids are adorable! What a terrific, positive adoption story you have.
I don't have any advice right now but I'm sure the right time will find its way to you!
Thanks for visiting my blog...and I tried to answer your question. Happy ICLW!
I've heard the "early and often" mantra before, too. It will happen when the timing is right.
Have a fantastic weekend. ICLW
I don't have any experience with this but I think you did a great job handling that.
I agree with the rest of the commenters and think you did a fine job! Telling a child facts about his/her life should be age appropriate, and that's what you've done.
ICLW
Here from ICLW.
I think you did a great job talking to your daughter, too!
I've wondered how I am going to address this situation as well. I'm glad I have your blog to read to somewhat go "through it" with another person!
Also, I've given you an award on my blog!
sam - I cant link to your blog----Help!
I would be scared too. My son just turned 2. I would have no idea what to say in the moment. I think it was good to bring it up again. If anything for your own practive. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Please check out my non profit. Parenthood for Me.org
Thanks
Found your blog through ICLW. The only advice I could offer.......
How about explaining that some kids are "extra special" instead of growing inside Mommy's belly, she grew inside your heart??
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