Adoptive Mom

I think sometimes in the world of adoption, we as adoptive parents get a bad rap. I have been referred to as a "baby stealer", "adopter", "falsely entitled", "insensitive". "clueless", and more I am sure. I am sure there are some adoptive moms that are as well as other members of the triad that may fit some of the stereotype's, and far a long time I think I have felt kinda guilty a bit for being an adoptive mom. Recently I have realized that I can be a mom that accepts the loss her children had and be a happy, great mom to my kids. I was thinking the other day what all it really takes to be an adoptive mom, and truly it is a whole lot! First just the process to get to be a mom is difficult, then making sure you read all the books do all the research to make sure you are doing everything you can to make sure your child is happy and healthy, always wondering when and how to bring up the topic to your child, having a relationship with your child's biological family, bringing them in to your family, arranging visits that are healthy for your child/children, worrying how you are going to handle one child being in an open adoption while your other child is in a closed adoption, trying not to sugar coat their story too much or too little, worring if they will feel less of a person or will they feel like they were abandoned, hoping they will always feel loved, accepted and wanted, allowing them to be their own person, trying not to have any prior expectations for them to live up to. Making sure your own family is respectful of your children and how they came to the family, making sure that they know its not OK to pretend like they are not adopted or to just blurt it out to strangers. There are many other factors and by no means am I complaining but I don't think I give myself credit too much for what all I do, and so many other adoptive moms that are out there, and I think it is something that I am going to start doing more often, because well it just feels good! And let me be VERY clear this has nothing to do with patting myself on the back for taking in a kid that needed a home or that I had done this wonderful thing because I adopted a child, no, not at all, it is how I AM an Adoptive Mom and how I take that responsibility of how I came to motherhood very serious, and there is alot to the job, and I think for the most part I am doing good.